Where I eat your soul
Levity is something I bring often to Sporty and enjoy doing very much. Mere moments ago my daughter and I were having a conversation about what we were going to watch on television today. From the time we got up we having been watching her favorite shows. She is almost 4 years old and enjoys the exploits of Dora, Little Bill, and others. I had to inform her it was closing in on Daddy’s turn.
Daddy’s turn is something every child dreads to hear. No more cartoons or characters placating to my child’s emotional strings. She knows Daddy’s turn generally means a little Dan Patrick followed by Ryen Russillo.
I, like most parents, find my daughter to be overly intelligent for her age. She is okay with the fact that the picture box will have men talking sports on for the next few hours. In return all she asks is that I play doll-house with her until it is her turn again. A fair trade if I ever say so myself.
However, today was different from other days. She asked me whether or not Dora would be on either the Dan Patrick show or the Scott Van Pelt show. Without hesitation I answered…Not unless she improved her jumper.
Not a moment any father would be proud of, albeit it a funny one liner. Giovanna, my daughter’s name, loves basketball. I don’t know whether or not I brainwashed it into her or the fact she thinks my cousin is the head basketball coach for St. Johns.(He is the head coach at a local HS team. I took her to a few games and the team has the same colors as the Red Storm. I have yet to correct her on that)
A new discussion had emerged between my daughter and I. How exactly would a jump shot improve Dora’s chances on being on one of Daddy’s sports shows. So after an hour or so discussion, that involved us breaking down cartoon characters in a basketball situation, I bring to you the ill-conceived(and credibility killing) “My Daughter’s Top Prospects”.
Dora The Explorer:
Dora has some limitations when it comes to her game. Standing a whopping 3’4 and weighing in at approximately 55 lbs, Dora’s size is a major concern. Her athleticism doesn’t help either. Inside sources tell us she can’t even jump over a phone book without the help of her nifty backpack(Which is basically a PED). Her strengths are her leadership skills and her ability to stay young. Unfortunately her strength of staying young is also her biggest weakness. Dora has a low ceiling and doesn’t have that much potential to grow as a player.
Bill is 5 years old. So he isn’t even eligible for the upcoming NBA draft. But putting his age aside I see a lot of talent in this young man. Basketball is in Little Bill’s genes. His older sister April is the star of her school’s basketball team and has been awarded numerous trophies in summer camp. While Bill isn’t eligible for the NBA draft we hear John Calipariri is already making calls trying to have him commit to Kentucky. However, a source tells us that Bill is leading towards attending Temple to further his education.
The Fresh Beat Band:
Well there are 4 of these guys and 2 of whom are women. While Marina and Kiki are very talented, their futures likely rest in the hands of WNBA executives. So we are going to focus on Shout and Twist. Shout is an incredibly athletic young man who also shows strong leadership skills. Twist on the other hand shows a low-level IQ. He always wants to do the things the difficult way. When prompted for suggestions he generally thinks outside of the box. Unfortunately for him, it is those creative differences that will have him clashing heads with his future head coach.
Max And Ruby:
Ruby is out, she is a female bunny. But we will let the bunny part go and breakdown her younger brother Max. I’m extremely high on Max the bunny. Max comes from a difficult background. His parents are never home, his grandmother only comes to visit in 3 minute spans, and his older sister is a self-centered knucklehead. Despite all of those things working against him, Max always seems to get the job done. He is a overachiever in every sense of the word. I don’t know how it will translate into the NBA but he is definitely worth taking a shot at around pick number 20.
There were many more characters that my daughter and I discussed. But it was these few characters that she seemed to give the most pub. I don’t know if any of these guys are on the Nets’ radar but don’t be shocked if they try to trade back into the first round and scoop up Steven from Blue’s Clues. That guy got heart.
Joseph Nardone is the founer and Lead Writer for SportyMcSports. You can follow him on the Twitter machine @JosephNardone